Dear God,

I guess yet again I don't really know what to say. Today was a pretty good day. I guess it still probably wouldn't be to normal people but compared to recent days today went pretty good. God, I thank you for helping me in drama. I am trying to become more involved. I am trying to get to know people instead of just sitting by myself. There are so many people there and quite a few of them I don't even know. I am trying to get more involved and to be a part of them. God, I ask you to continue to help me with that. Help me be comfortable. Help me be ok with the situations. Help me know what to say. And also allow me to not feel like I am useless and don't belong. God, please help me with this whole situation. I am also kinda struggling with getting kinda exhausted. I know that I have some time but I haven't been able to sleep very well lately. I guess it is partly my fault but part of it is that I don't really want to think. I dont' want to let myself have that opportunity. I am scared that if I let myself have the time to think I will think about negative or depressing stuff. God, just help me get to sleep tonight. Help me get rest and not just the passing the time. Help me wake up tomorrow and be ready to go. God, also I am sorry for not going to church tonight. I for some reason felt like I shouldn't really go. I guess part of it was because I didn't wnat to but then I have been kinda waiting for Wednesday for several days because I wanted to try to talk to Todd. I guess help me in that aspect. I am really debating talking to Todd. I am really debating trying to give up all that stuff. God, help me with that. I know that I should get rid of that stuff but it is so hard for me. Give me the strength to make that decision. I was reading my devotional today and it talked about asking for the strength to deal with the conditions instead of praying for things to just be better. God, I ask you for that. Help me deal with things. Help me get through this. And also help me get to a point that I can look beyond this. I know that I can have all of this testimony if I actually make it through all of this but it will never really be a testimony if I don't make it. At times it feels like I never will. God, help me with this. Help me with life. I get so tired. Give me the strength to keep going. Thank you God.

                                        -Sarah